I can write about this in my little vacuum all I want, but here's a link to a project that's all about living this concept of oneness and interconnectedness. Take the time to watch their latest movie, check out their great video library, and support them if you feel so inclined.
"American individualism, much celebrated and cherished, has developed without its essential corrective, which is belonging." - Wallace Stegner
Not much time to write tonight, so I'll share a cool video that says volumes about the interconnectedness of all life, regardless of species. And it's just a lot of fun to watch!
Here's an interesting little experiment you can try - I did it in a couple of work meetings earlier this week and noticed a big difference in my sense of connectedness to the people there...
Food for thought from some leading scientific thinkers, with a unique presentation...
Speaking of helping others self-actualize, we've first gotta tend to their basic survival needs as the good Dr. Maslow says. Here's a great way for you to do that:
www.edar.org
Check it out!
Most of us would loan a brother or sister $25 if they asked for it. Chances are it would help them with some relatively minor issue they were facing, and may make some temporary positive difference for them. If you're lucky they might even pay you back someday.
But what if you could loan that same amount of money to another brother or sister knowing that it would help radically transform his or her life for the better? And what if you'd be almost certainly guaranteed of being repaid by the date when they told you you'd be repaid?
Sound like a good deal? Then visit www.kiva.org and start being a part of that transforming power in the life of someone you meet there. It's hard to imagine a better return on your investment.
I've had this fantasy about watching my own memorial service and seeing what would be said and done there. I think it's just really important to me to feel like my life has been of some lasting value, that I made some kind of difference here in how I lived my life and how I affected the people I touched, and one way to see if that was the case would be to see what people would say about me after I'm gone.
We're all familiar with the concept of a will, in which a person's material possessions are passed on to those designated. But much of the time, what's most important about a person's life has little or nothing to do with the material wealth or possessions he/she amassed. For the vast majority of people, after a generation or two whatever money was passed on has been spent and forgotten, and whatever possessions were bequeathed have also either broken down and disappeared or have been passed along to others to whom they have nothing but superficial material value, if that.
To me though, the life lessons that people learn, the wisdom they acquire, and the love they became and shared are what are really most important and most enduring. So how can those be passed on too so others can also benefit from them?
The concept of an ethical will is becoming more popular in recent years. It's basically just a way for these other less material "assets" to be passed on to whomever may benefit from them. If you Google it, you'll find that there are all sorts of websites and companies that will help you craft an ethical will, some of whom want significant amounts of money for that service. But most of us are probably completely capable of producing our own ethical wills without any such help. In fact they would seem to have the most value when they're drafted and presented in the person's own hand and by the person's own mind, with no wordsmithing or template-adhering influence by others in the process. Authenticity is the key.
I've sometimes wondered why I created this blog at all and why I continue to put time and effort into it. And now that I've been exposed to the concept of the ethical will, I think that's basically what this blog is for me. It's a way of preserving and passing on the things that I've learned, the perspectives and life lessons and truths that are most important to me, and the things that I think others can most benefit from.
I know that for me personally all my life experiences and lessons can be most meaningfully viewed from the perspective of oneness or connectedness, so that's the primary focus I've given this blog. I still strongly believe that we're all here ultimately to grow in a sense of connectedness with God and all of life. That's a pretty broad concept though, which allows me to then offer all these various posts along that general theme.
So for those of you who can benefit from any of what you find here in any way, I offer past and future posts as my way of sharing what has come to be most valuable to me. I'm grateful for the opportunity to simply be alive now and experience all that I have, I'm grateful to be able to be of whatever service I can to each of you in this wonder-filled adventure we call life, and I'm grateful for all that so many others have shared which has enhanced and influenced my own experience here.
I believe there's truth and wisdom all around us. We each have our own little knothole on the universe. By combining all our highest, clearest visions of what we see through our respective knotholes, we can create a much more complete and accurate awareness of the nature of life. So I've created a separate blog to present a collection of quotes that I've come across that seem to offer valuable perspectives on different aspects of life.
That blog is at http://tomstruthnuggets.blogspot.com/
Please visit and enjoy, and send any quotes you'd like to share with me to the address provided in that blog.
Another way to look at the whole concept of connection is to consider who we really are. Most people think of themselves as finite creatures, limited by the reaches of their arms and the depths of their thoughts. But who are we really?
If I cut off my arm, am I still me? Most people would say so. Lose my legs? I’m still me. Any other part of my body? Still me. So I’m more than just a physical body.
What about my mind then? Am I the sum of my thoughts? Well, I have lots of thoughts that are much less than who I think I really am. I get angry, I get fearful, I get all sorts of things and think and say and do lots of things that I’m not very proud of or happy about. And when I think or feel or say or do them, I don’t feel like I’m being who I really truly am. I know I could choose more nobly, more healthily, more wisely, but in those moments I give in to fear and I don’t make those wiser choices.
When I look back on my life and the various things I’ve said and done, when I consider all the high points of my life, all the times when I felt most fully alive and most truly in tune with Who I Really Am, they’re all about love and giving and a feeling of connection with others and with all life itself. They’re never about being fearful or angry or selfish or anything else that I sometimes also choose. So when it comes to my thoughts, which then drive my words and actions, I have to conclude that I am not the sum total of all my thoughts, but rather I’m that person or that energy that is purely love-based and that produces the highest and most loving thoughts, words, and actions in any given moment.
But obviously I’m not there yet. These other, less desirable, not-who-I-really-am thoughts keep happening among the ones with which I do more positively identify. So does that mean that in this moment I’m not really anybody yet, or that I’m some combination of “good” and “bad?” No. I believe I am that which is becoming the full and perfect expression of the Divine within. Ultimately the fear that drives any other expressions will fade and vanish, and all that will be left is Love. The more I tune in to that loving presence and consciously strive to live from that place, the closer I move to my goal. In any given moment, who I really am is moving ever more toward that full expression.
But then what about the problem of mental illness? Or Alzheimer’s? Or other forms of impaired brain function in which we seemingly regress and at least on the outside appear to be retreating from this ideal of full expression of the Divine within? What about being affected by things that seem to impair our ability to choose wisely and healthily and maturely? Who are we then?
I think the answer’s still the same. We’re still that person or energy within that seeks to become the full expression of the Divine. It’s just our perception of what that expression should look like that leads us to believe we’re moving away from it when we're in this state. The Divine within, the spark of life, the soul, or whatever you want to call it, is still there. It may be subject to new limitations as to how it can express itself outwardly, but it’s still there. And life in any given body is finite, just a blink in cosmic time and existing outside of time in its transcendence of physical death. To the soul, being constrained by a brain limitation of some kind is no different from being constrained by a limited consciousness and a limited expression of itself in any given moment by someone without the same “brain limitation.” Or it’s the same as being constrained by a physical limitation. To the soul it’s all the same. It isn’t affected by such things, it cares not for time, and its connection with all other souls and with the Divine Source is never jeopardized by any limitation in its host body in this life, however long that limitation may exist in linear time.
I also think that, because we’re all connected, any given soul’s purpose here is always twofold. We not only exist in this life to further develop our own ability to fully manifest the Divine within whatever body or constraints we may find ourselves. We’re also here to aid other souls in doing the same. And as we do so we fulfill our Divine Purpose in this other way, by helping other souls bring to fuller expression and experience the Divine as they embody it at any given time. So in the case of someone with a “brain limitation,” while the soul’s individual development or expression may be limited in some ways, its ability to present itself to other souls in ways that help foster their own development and expression may not be so limited. Perhaps the very fact that it itself is limited acts as a motivator or catalyst for other souls it influences to grow in love in their own evolution. So we can’t ever be fully limited, our time here can never be fully wasted or useless, and sometimes our seemingly greatest limitations may be our most powerful means of encouraging and aiding other souls in their own growth.
Where does it all end? It doesn’t. We are part of something eternal, boundless, and ever-evolving into fuller and fuller expression of itself. In this small slice of existence we call life, we have an infinite number of forms and means for moving in that direction, through our own personal evolution and/or through being aids for the evolution of others. We cannot separate ourselves from the energy of the Divine that is All in all. Instead, we are blessed with opportunity after opportunity to embrace our roles as representatives of that Divine energy and act in each and every moment to be more fully Who We Really Are.
In the words of the great scientist and philosopher Albert Einstein, “A human being is part of a whole, called by us the ‘Universe,’ a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
I don’t have a sermonette to offer tonight. :-) Just a recommendation to check out a website, especially if you have kids.It’s www.markmakers.org. They provide a way for kids (of any age) to feel like they’re making a difference in the world. It’s a great concept and an excellent way to help foster a deeper sense of connection between your kids and the rest of the world.
1/25/10 update - it appears the website is either no longer operational or is down for upgrades. You can check it again later or search for other similar sites online. Either way, getting your kids involved in something of this sort can only help to develop a new generation of more genuinely connected people.
If you have a gym membership and you actually use it, you hate this time of year. ‘Cause all the gym rat wannabes with their shiny new untested “gonna get in shape” resolutions and their brand new sweats and spandex converge on your favorite grunt ‘n sweat spot, bumping you out of your routine and filling up all your favorite machines. You know that soon many of them will be gone as the novelty of their resolutions wears off and they settle back into complacency, accepting their old limitations without further challenge. But for now they fill the gym, pushing against resistances that you scoff at as you turn and trudge grumbling back to your car. Feel the burn.
You drive down the road, passing a homeless person looking for handouts. You assume he just wants to feed his alcohol habit, and so you fire off a condemning scowl and zoom by. Or maybe you’re afraid of how the interaction might go or what he might want if you do stop and talk to him for a moment. So you look the other way, making sure you avoid eye contact with him as you pass him by. Feel the burn.
Then your cell phone rings, and it’s your ex wanting to change the time when she picks up the kids tomorrow. You don’t know whether to believe her reason or not, or maybe you don’t care what her reason is. You just know it means having to change some of your own plans. Or maybe you had no plans but react harshly anyway, since you could’ve had other plans even if you don’t. Feel the burn.
Back at the gym, many of the new wannabes push against the weights and soon decide to give up, choosing to avoid any more resistance and settling back into their old routines. But some feel the burn and know it means they’re getting stronger as they face resistance. And they grow to become stronger than the weight that defines their limit, until it no longer challenges them. Encouraged by their progress, they continue to face the resistances that once limited them and embrace the process of pressing their limits, grateful for the resistance that's making them stronger.
Maybe you’ve mastered the gym. Maybe physical weights present no tough challenge for you anymore. But in the coming year, you will find yourself daily in situations where you will be called to expand your ability to love and to face your many remaining fears. Some of these will be as new to you as weights are to a workout wannabe on the day after New Year’s. Some may be old limits where your love or your courage has plateaued out, where a renewed commitment and a fresh push will be needed to move to the next level. All will present resistance to you.
So how will you respond this year? Will you get your money’s worth out of your membership in the fitness club called Life? Or will you continue to settle for the same love body and the same fear body that you now have, avoiding any of the resistances that challenge you to grow and become more healthy and more whole?
Lucky you, the Life club has enough machines for everyone. No waiting.
So go ahead – feel the burn. As you push your love limits and your fear limits, feel the burn of the flame of your spirit growing ever stronger. It’s a good kind of pain.
I just watched Crash again. I still really like this movie. People tend to think it’s about the effects of racism because it highlights so many racial stereotypes and reactions. But I think racism is just a vehicle that’s used to get at the deeper theme of our self-imposed separation from each other. We often assume that separation is all about the other person’s need to change in order to bring the walls between us down, when really the only change that will do that is our own changed perception and choice to love that which is different than us in some ways. Without making that choice, we become fearful and angry when others don’t look, speak, or act in ways that enhance our sense of connection to them.
We need that contact and sense of connection so badly but have almost completely given up on feeling it so much of the time, or have no idea how to bring it about. Like the opening line of the movie says, “It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.” The most impassioned scenes in the movie occur when the characters interact out of fear and separation-producing prejudice, expressing anger at others that’s totally unjustified in each given situation. I think their passion comes from their deeper desire to be connected and to be able to interact with each other in a way that’s mutually respectful and caring and giving, and from the frustration that we all feel when we’re in situations where that doesn’t happen. So just as we each so often do, they then lash out, taking out their frustrations on others in all sorts of awful ways and worsening the sense of separation between themselves and others.
The other really powerful scenes in the movie for me are those when the characters ultimately realize the contributions of their own words and actions and prejudices to the feeling of separation they’re experiencing. It shows that we all carry around this sense of frustration at being separated, we all contribute to it through our thoughts and unwillingness to see things differently, and we all express our anger at feeling separated in different ways and times but with equally damaging results. We want so badly to feel a heavenly sense of connectedness with all life, but we end up creating a hell on earth by the ways that we react when we don’t feel that connectedness to the extent that we want and need.
Why do so many people do this? Why spend valuable time typing words and sending them out into the ether?
We do this, I think, because we have an innate need to connect with others. Whether we're ranting about the latest Astros loss or sharing our most considered opinions on the nature of human consciousness, we "speak" to connect. Would we really take the time to do this if we were sure that no one would ever read what we wrote? I think not, except for those who use their blogs as personal journals. And even then, I think there's a part of us that senses that our words will be read by someone, something, somewhere, in another domain or dimension perhaps. We communicate to connect.
What about you? Why do you do this? What do you most deeply want to happen with the words that you send out? How does it feel when a thought you send out is validated by some response? Doesn't that feel really good on some level, regardless of whether you know the responder or not? How does it feel when your words are challenged or criticized? That feels to me like someone's pulling away from me or shutting a door on me or holding me at a distance, and that doesn't feel good.
It doesn't always even matter if others agree with or validate our words, depending on the degree of emotional attachment we have to the particular words and ideas we expressed. Sometimes we may want others to challenge us or question us, so that we can arrive through that exchange at a deeper degree of truth about whatever it is we're discussing. But what does always matter is that we get a response. What matters is the connection.
So I wonder what would happen if each of us took a moment before writing and remembered that what matters most to us deep down are the connections we form with others. Would that reshape our words in some way? Give it a try...
"Atonement" - per Webster, is reconciliation with another, where reconciliation is the act of renewing frendship with on one level, or taken to the extreme, becoming one with again. So the act of atonement is really an act of "at-one-ment" whereby we remember and embrace once again our true connectedness with another, be it God or a friend or whomever. The act of overcoming past differences, past separations, is driven then by a deeper desire to return to our true nature in relationship with another, which is one of connection.
This suggests that we're naturally in a state of connectedness with others. That state can be disrupted or overshadowed though by a commitment to some difference or conflict that we think we have with another. One effect of that conflict is to make us feel separate from the other. We may even question whether we want to continue our relationship with that person on the basis of the difference and the sense of separateness that we feel. Lovers may choose to end relationships when the blissful feeling of total connection with the other is shattered by some conflict that inevitably arises. As life plays out, suddenly or gradually in situation after situation we lose our sense of connection and replace it with feelings of separateness.
Atonement happens when we choose to practice true forgiveness, or when we're able to look past the surface details of a situation and remember our true nature, which is one of continual connection to all others. Atonement is always about reconnecting with the other. It's always about putting differences aside or forgetting them altogether and focusing once again on our true connectedness to each other in spite of any outward or surface differences we may have.
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