My dear precious boy Bogey passed on to the next stage of his existence this past Friday. He was an amazing, wonderful partner and friend and I miss him greatly. I've written elsewhere about him and our time together; what I want to write about here is a lesson he helped me learn about true connectedness in the time leading up to his passing.
For years while we were together I'd talk to him about all kinds of things. Of course he didn't understand most of the words (but he was very clear about the meanings of "treat" and "walk" and "ride"). But somehow it felt important that they all be said, as a means of helping to reinforce the connection between us. Maybe in that sense they were more meaningful to me than they were to him, but I think they helped let him know he was important to me and that I cared about him and about our relationship enough to focus on him and communicate with him.
As the end drew near for our time together, I found myself pressing more and more to find just the right words to try and tell him how special he'd always been to me, how we'd meet up again someday on a trail by a lake full of ducks, how he'd always be in my heart. What I think I was trying to do was to make as certain as I could that our connection was fortified as much as possible, so that nothing would break it as he crossed the threshold he was facing. The more I tried to find all the right words though, the more I sensed my frustration and concern mounting that maybe I should try to say it all better, or more often, or in some different way, or that maybe I was forgetting to say something important.
Then one night just a couple of days before his passing, he stumbled into the family room where I was lying on the floor and lay down next to me, his eyes looking directly into mine. And in that moment I felt him say, without making a sound, everything I'd been so clumsily trying to put into words. I felt like he was letting me know that he knew, and that it was all okay. Whatever happened, the love and the bond between us would remain.
We use words in life to convey thoughts and express emotions, as one way of connecting our minds and hearts. But ultimately we are all already connected, and there comes a point where words are just no longer necessary and even become distractions from that reality. The connection of the heart that we all share deep down needs no words to establish or maintain it when we strip away all the things that make us feel separate and we return to our essence. That connection is already and always perfect and whole without any words or other devices required on our part.
With attention and effort, we can choose to live consciously from that place of awareness of our oneness with all and enjoy a deep, rich sense of connection throughout our lives. And anytime we forget that and get all caught up being egos exchanging words and feeling separate from each other, we need only look to our dogs to remind us of who we really are and what really matters in life.
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