"American individualism, much celebrated and cherished, has developed without its essential corrective, which is belonging." - Wallace Stegner
The Extreme Home Makeover crew recently did a house just a couple miles down the road from me. I've always enjoyed the show and seeing the way the communities come together to support each of the families who receive new homes. But it took having it happen practically in my own backyard to shake me awake in astonishment to the fact that there are extraordinary families and people and circumstances all around every one of us and not just in some faraway unique parts of the country somewhere. It stunned me that there were people living in such challenging conditions, and living such amazing lives, so close to me but completely outside my awareness. And of course from there it's just a small step to realize that even on our own streets or in our own apartment buildings, each of us is living our own heroic life of sorts, facing our own challenges, having our own unique experiences, and feeling our own deep feelings, and doing all this pretty much outside the awareness of most of our neighbors.
It certainly isn't any new observation that we've become so insulated and isolated in our modern American lifestyle. Sure, we may know the names and a few surface details of the lives of some of our neighbors, but how many of them do we really know? It's one thing to know about somebody but another entirely to really know who they are. Yet when we do find out who they are on the inside, what their struggles and joys and fears and challenges are, we feel more connected to them and more compassionate toward them, as evidenced by the way that community after community turns out en masse to help these people on the EHM episodes.
And I don't think they all show up just 'cause they may get a chance to be on TV. Most of the people who volunteer, and there are hundreds at each site, are never mentioned or seen on TV. They're there because they care and because they sincerely want to be of service to those in need and to help make a positive difference in someone's lives.
So if that desire to be more deeply connected and supportive of each other is so much a part of so many of us, why do we settle for the lives of relative isolation that most of us live? If that's not the kind of community we really want to be a part of, why do we choose it? Why has it become so difficult for us to be more open with each other about the deeper, more 'real' aspects of our lives?
Neighbors are like relatives. You don't get to choose who they are; you just have to learn to live with them as best you can. And granted, that's easier with some people than with others. But I bet if we took the time to really get to know each other, choosing to hold people at a distance and stay so isolated in our individual little hermetically sealed houses and lives would become much more the exception than the rule for most of us. It just takes someone to take that first step, reach out that first hand, extend that first invitation, and allow someone else into their house and into their life. Will you be that someone? Leia Mais…
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